Tough Decision...

Growing up, I didn’t know what I wanted to be.  I just knew I just wanted to travel the world.  The end to my means was joining the Air Force.  Growing up in a military family, I guess I always knew I would also join.  I had a boyfriend that I was sure I wanted to spend my life with, but he wanted to stay in Tennessee.  The world was “my oyster” and I wanted to get to seeing it.  Thus…dump the boyfriend and join the Air Force...see that world! 

Jump forward a few years later when I went to a job as a military instructor simply as another “way to my means.”  I wanted to live in Colorado and the job opening was in Colorado.  Who would have imagined that I would end up loving to teach?  I was always kind of an extrovert, but teaching others to feel fulfilled.  It offered me the opportunity to become comfortable standing in front of people and talking.  Previously I would have never imagined being able to talk in front of crowds (everyone’s biggest fear, right?!).  That skill brought me to the next 29 years…where that skill STILL comes in handy. 

After retiring from the Air Force I went to work for a local non-profit as the Executive Director.  As part of my job I had to go out and give presentations to local businesses.  Again, my teaching/talking skills came in handy.  Good thing I was comfortable doing it!  Lots of accolades from the businesses…but is it enough?  I didn’t fill satisfied.  I had several HORRIBLE Board of Director members…and didn’t feel like I always had their support and I grew very wary.  They had gone through several directors prior to me and I was bound and determined that I was going to “make a difference.”  I did.  Then I was offered a job in my old office in Education and Training.  I took it.  It was wonderful to be appreciated again for my hard work.  I make pretty good money…and I have a job.  For that, I am grateful.  However, I should have a much higher paying job.  The compensation I receive doesn’t begin to cover what I am expected to do in my day to day job.  I was happy until we got a couple employees that do nothing and are paid more (because of their length in the system) than me.  I know, I know, life isn’t always fair.  It’s just very disheartening.   I guess it’s just the Type A personality in me, but I don’t like not being in a decision making position.  People come to me daily wanted me to make the decisions, but lately I’ve stepped back and thought about it.  I’m not paid to be in-charge…YET. J

I always put others before me.  I took care of my people first…me second.  It has now altered my career path.  I always allowed others to go to school…I manned the office.  Now I need a degree to overcome my current obstacles…when I should have got it together years ago FOR ME!!  To get promoted in my office, I need the Adult Education degree.  I’m well on my way, for sure.  HOWEVER, is getting promoted in my office what I really want to do?  I remember back to my Colorado years.  I really enjoyed teaching.  I have to remember the feeling of fulfillment I had when others learned.  It was kind of a rush!  It’s all about self-worth.  It’s all about finding me, Shelley, again.  I have some choices on the horizon to make. 

My decisions AFTER I get my BA in Adult Education:  Do I become an Education & Training Counselor or Tester…and make more money working in my current office OR do I look for another opportunity elsewhere.  Do I continue my education and get my masters in Adult Education and do what I really love?  I currently have an opportunity to have all of my education paid (and books and miscellaneous) for—but I only have 36 months to get as much education as I can.  It’s really hard now working full time and going to school.  Do I continue on and work towards my masters and give it all up to do something I enjoy or do I do the safe thing and stay where I am?  Descisions…descisions…descisions.

Getting to my goals won’t be easy, but if it was easy, then as they say, “Everyone would do it.”  I just need to make a life blueprint and just stick to it.  I need to “sux it up” for a while and get as many classes as I can completed before my education benefits expire.  I will have about 2 years to finish my masters once I complete my BA in Adult Education.  I suppose I really am blessed to have a lifetime income from my retirement, so THAT alone will allow me to look seriously at my other options.  I believe I have several options, but let’s take a look at the most probable scenario. 

Let’s look at some of my possible goals:

1)  Become the Education Services Officer (ESO) in our office (Base Training & Education Services) (with my masters)

2)  I don’t want my boss’s job; I want her boss’s job (with my masters). 

3)  Teach college classes (possibly on-line courses) (with my masters).

4)  With my BA, I can get a job as an Education & Training guru a local corporation.
5)  Stopping at my BA, I can be promoted in my current office--making more money and possibly having more fulfillment. 

So how do I get to these goals?  Let’s look at each of them:

For Option 1, 2, and 3:  For these options, I’ll need to continue with my education and obtain my master’s degree.   I will have a little bit under two years of education benefits left when I finish this degree.  It would be hard, but obtainable.  A great new ruling is that beginning later this year; I will start getting an additional educational allowance for going to school full-time.  This would help me consider if I want to just go to school full time or not.  It would make it much easier.  

For Option 1 & 2, do I really want more headaches?  With these positions come all the decisions and problems that come with it.  Maybe I need to reconsider these goals.

Option 3:  Sure, I’d need my masters to do this, but I think this would be fun.  This could easily be doable (after obtaining that degree).  If I have 2 ½ more years of college left for my masters (and to finish this degree), I’d almost be close to retirement (my second).  Should I wait?  Let me think about this one for a minute. 

Option 4:  I’ve had this opportunity previously, but turned it down.  It is a doable solution.  However, I have to have benefits and good pay.  I make pretty good pay now (just want more).  This is a maybe!

Option 5:  Stay where I am and be the best that I can.  When I get my degree I’ll get a promotion.  Maybe I should be happy with that.  More money doesn’t always mean happiness, but when you get paid a lot less than the person before you (and you have more additional duties), you get discouraged.  I have the skills for this job and I make a difference in people’s lives.  Maybe I could do this WHILE I complete my masters in Adult Education…and obtain the necessary skills for teaching on-line college courses.  I think I’ve hit on it…and have a plan.  This is my best plan.  This allows me to live today and plan for the future.

In conclusion, whatever we choose to do, hopefully we can find happiness and fulfillment.  In the long run, if we’re happy, with any luck we’ll live longer and happier lives.  Isn’t that what it’s really all about?   Life probably won’t always be perfect, but hopefully we can find ourselves and what “flips our switch.”